🔥 TRASH TALK

Roasts About the San Jose Earthquakes

Savage, fact-based MLS trash talk — what to text your San Jose Earthquakes friend after a loss. Generated by Trash Talk, the AI that roasts from real stats.

“Both titles came before 2004 — and the franchise was literally MOVED to Houston, then re-founded from scratch”
“Finished DEAD LAST in the entire league in 2024 with one of the worst records in MLS history”
“Championship drought since 2003”
“The franchise's titles were so long ago the team was relocated and rebooted afterward”
“One of the worst seasons in MLS history in 2024”
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