Roasts About the D.C. United

Last championship: 2004
Missed the playoffs: 7 of the last 10 seasons

Savage, fact-based MLS trash talk — what to text your D.C. United friend after a loss. Generated by Trash Talk, the AI that roasts from real stats.

“The most decorated early-MLS dynasty (4 Cups) and NOTHING since 2004 — a 20+ year drought”

“Finished bottom of the entire league in 2013 with a historically bad 3-win season”

“Signed Wayne Rooney to miss the playoffs”

“20+ year MLS Cup drought after an early dynasty”

“One of the worst single seasons in league history (2013)”

The receipts