🔥 TRASH TALK

Roasts About the Columbus Crew

Savage, fact-based MLS trash talk — what to text your Columbus Crew friend after a loss. Generated by Trash Talk, the AI that roasts from real stats.

“The franchise was nearly relocated to Austin — 'Save The Crew' is the most famous thing about them”
“Long stretches of irrelevance between their title years”
“An Original-Ten club that has been mid-table for most of its existence”
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The receipts

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